Monitoring Spirits in the Dancery
Wake up, babe. The internet just dropped new spiritual vocabulary!!!
Or maybe I’m late, but friends, I’ve just been put onto the term “monitoring spirits.” First of all, love. It possesses the kind of drama the aunties at church used to scare me with when I was a teen.
Y’all can blame Franchesca Ramsey by way of Haus of Hollister for bringing this to my attention. While on Twitter Lite (Threads), I came upon a video where Franchesca Ramsey stitched another creator’s (Chauncey Hollister of Haus of Hollister) video where Hollister explained that one of her fav pastimes is checking who watches her stories et engages vs who doesn’t. Ye know, the very normal action of taking inventory of who irl is supporting you url.
Franchesca called this corny, perhaps even insecure.
Et well, with no disrespect to Miss. Hollister, she’s not wrong. But with no discredit to Franchesca, Hollister isn’t wrong either.
Last summer, a homie call me up et ask me why I think our mutual friend doesn’t like her stories anymore. I asked her how she would know that et she told me that she checks. Personally, I was clutching my pearls. Checked? What do you mean you checked? Then it started. Other friends saying things like “x is always the first one watching my stories” et the memes echoing the same. Of course Instagram shows you who’s watched, but I didn’t realize people were scrolling past the metrics into meaning.
Checking the numbers made sense to me. It’s the numbers that are translated to other things, but somewhere along the way, engagement metrics became more than just a tool used for professional elevation. Online engagement became the engagement baseline for most relationships. Likes are loyalty, silence is shade, et views without word is betrayal.
But such is the case when social media invited monetization to the table, et she not only made herself a plate, but put her bonnet on et decided to stay awhile. The minute the creator economy boomed, social media became a job. Even when you’re not a full time content creator or influencer, there’s almost this silent expectation to maintain an audience to succeed in your field.
Everyone’s a brand, but only because you need at least 2-3 side hustles, on top of your full time job, to survive. So when that survival depends on the digital dance et your friends aren’t adding to the count, it hurts. Like telling them you’re chasing a promotion et they don’t even show up to listen.
Buuuut, it’s also not always giving “monitoring spirit.” Yes, some people do watch just to monitor. I will not deny the presence of hating ass hoes in the dancery, but I miiiight suggest that constant self-promotion et social surveillance may be creating a type of collective delusion where general disinterest is taken as hate.
Sometimes people—even your friends—just aren’t your audience et if they show up in real life when things get real, that’s worth considering before you revaluate the entire relationship.
Just a thought anyway.
In the end, I think this is just another way capitalism has burrowed its dry fingers into our loving relationships et created unnecessary insecurities. Bell Hooks being right yet again.
