The Materialists Materialized Some Thoughts
On money, modern love, et why I don’t want to date the broke guy with vision either
I wasn’t floored by Materialists. Not by the plot. Not by Dakota (she was—as she typically is—doing Dakota). But something about it stuck. Not like glitter though. Lint. Something I can’t quite shake since seeing the credits roll (loved that scene by the way).
The movie explores the intersections of love, money, et self-worth. Et while it didn’t move my heart or bring me to tears, it does brush up against something real: what it means to love under capitalism, et what we inherit from the mess that came before us.
Dun..dun…DUNNN
The entire time I watched Lucy (Dakota Johnson) I thought two things:
1. Should I get bangs?
2. Is this me???
I felt Lucy’s damn near obsessive unwillingness to entertain someone not making a certain amount. Not out of snobbery, but because she grew up watching money tear people apart. Same sis. I grew up hearing the loud fights, et the quiet ones that made the air in the room thicker than bamboo. I bore witness to the bitterness. The cheating. The violence. I understood very early that love without resources leaves no room for romance.
We’ve seen the thinkpieces: Hollywood loves pairing successful women with broke-but-charming men. There’s also the seemingly never ending "coffee dates” discourse et the epidemic-level fear of being finessed for free a dinner. On one side, you’ve got people wary of being used. On the other, folks weary of being judged for not having enough.
I, like Frank Ocean, see both sides like Chanel. I’ve been broke. Broke enough to feel small in rooms. Broke enough to see how people treat you when they think you have nothing to offer. It sucks. 0/10 do not recommend.
I wish we could leave finances out of the romance chat. But I don’t think the conversation is really about money. It’s about mindset (please imagine me doing finger guns here). Are you down now, but ambitious? Are you in a building season, or in a victim spiral? Are you comfortable with making less, or will you make sure I’m uncomfortable about it too?
Because I’ve dated men who resented me for wanting more—more for myself, more from life. Not more stuff, but more peace. More ease. More freedom. That’s what money offers when you’ve seen what its absence can do.
So of course, avoiding financially incompatible partners can be about materialism. But it can be about protection too. About avoiding the emotional et psychological labor of convincing someone to want better—especially when they don't want it for themselves.
Et not to be that cheesy Tumblr meme about it, but setting boundaries in that way, with intention et purpose, seems more like a goal digger to me.
